Thursday, January 12, 2012

January 8, 2012

End of War, Beginning of grief, heartache and learning to survive.

Shortly after my dad came home from the war times were tough in SLC and he thought we could find a job and a home if we moved to Springville, and so we did.
We moved into a small home in "Ironton" just north of Springville. He found a job at Provo airport. My mom went to work picking strawberries. she was able to take us kids with her and we were able to eat what strawberries we wanted, as long as we did not get roudy or cause any problems. So we played and ate our fill of those delicious strawberries. Life was good that summer. Until.........

One day early in August 1944 tragedy became a part of our families life and changed each one of us forever...

My older sister Sue was taken from this earthly life, way too soon,
by a tragic accident that happened within our happy family. I will forever be grateful for loving grandparents on both my Mother's and my Father's side of the family. For my aunt Frieda and Uncle Dick who took me to their home and kept me until Sue's funeral. they were loving and kind and did everything they could for me.
I know my children want to know "how did I feel at this time" all I can tell you is I believe I felt anger, shame, fear, guilt, confusion, and hopefully and mostly love, and forgiveness for my siblings and my parents. It was a very difficult time. I may write more about this later, just not now.

(Feel free to comment or ask questions, I will answer them to the best of my memory in a truthful way.)


4 comments:

  1. AnnJan 8, 2012 06:44 PM
    I know I've asked you a lot of questions over the years about this tragic time in your life and it always hurts my heart for all of you that it happened and that it forever changed all of you. I am glad that there were loving people there to take care of you, no children should ever have to go through what you and your siblings went through. Don't feel like you have to write anything that YOU don't want to, this is all about you, not us. I love you and wish I could hold you close to my chest and whisper to you that it is ok, that you are not to blame, accidents happen and sometimes things happen for reasons we don't know, but there is always a plan, always. I am sure Sue is there with you when the going gets rough and I'm sure she knows the hurt in your heart and probably looks forward to the day she can wrap you in her arms and whisper that she loves you too. Be gentle with yourself mom, there are so many people who love you it really is ok to forgive yourself and let your heart open even more to all the love that is here for you.
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  2. Carole's StoryJan 9, 2012 09:38 AM
    Thanks Ann, I believe there is a plan also and I believe that I can let that love in for many times I feel your arms around me. I love you so very much and my family all mean the world to me.
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  3. GLWallaceJan 9, 2012 05:04 PM
    Momma
    I know how much death can affect you especially when it happens way to soon and way to young. It changes us forever in ways we could have never imagined. I also know that with it comes a greater strength and love than we knew was possible. As Ann said....this is your story and you should tell it the way your heart dictates and not as you think is expected. Putting words to our emotions helps a lot and I hope as you go through this process you will find peace, hope, and a greater love of self. I love reading your blog and gaining a better understand of you and all that went into making the beautiful woman that is my Mother. I am always here for you and my arms are wrapped around you this day and all the days to come. I love you Momma
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  4. Karen MendenhallJan 10, 2012 06:55 PM
    I cannot say I know how you feel mom, because I don't. You had to grow up way to soon. You never really had a childhood of your own. That is the great thing about getting old...you can act like kid again and everyone will chalk it up to dementia!!! I am so thankful you are writing your story, my kids are enjoying it as they never really knew you except for the great grandmother you have been to them. This will give them a sense of identity, the roots they need to make them 'family'. I love you mom. You are the greatest.

1 comment:

  1. I just started reading your blog. I have often thought about that tragic story over the years and have even tried to put myself in your place. How would I have handled that situation? My conclusion is that I probably would have stayed hidden. I think in a lot of ways, you have done just that. You are good at hiding your emotions, your pain, disappointment, and sadness. You want the world to see all of the positive aspects of your life, as we all do. I'm happy that you are doing this and I hope that it is emotionally cleansing for you. You should have never had to go through such a horror and especially at that age. God bless you Mom. I love you.

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